Urban Legends****My friend’s younger brother went out with a woman last week. He still lives at home and so it was a big deal for him. His mother was dead against him going out that evening because he had an interview for a new job first thing in the morning. However, he went out promising that he would be back early.
He and the woman went out for a drink, danced a bit at a local club and she invited him back for “coffee.” After the usual drinking coffee and listening to Motown, they ended up in bed for a bit of horizontal jogging. Anyway, to cut a long story short, they both have a fantastic time. Raunchy, filthy sex. However, it’s now about three am so his brother says “I have to go home because I’ve gotta work in the morning.” The woman takes him to the front door of her flat and as they’re walking through the main room, she sees her knickers lying on the floor. “Here,” she says giving them to him, “take these to remind you of me.” He stuffs them in his pocket and leaves, promising to phone.
He wakes up at 7 am in the morning feeling like shit. However, he’s got the normal morning stiffy. He starts thinking of the night before and becomes even more ‘inflamed’. Then he remembers the woman’s knickers in his pocket. He takes them out and sniffs them. The memories flood back. So, he’s certainly going to have a quick hand job at this moment but wants to have both hands free. So he puts the knickers over his head so that the gusset is over his nose. This obscures his eyes but he continues and has a pretty satisfactory hand job. After a short rest, he takes the knickers off his head so he can find the Kleenex. However, he sees a cup of coffee and two slices of toast on his bed side table. His mother has come in and brought him his breakfast so he won’t miss his important interview.TRUE
Two children — one riding in each vehicle — were injured: the Halls’ granddaughter, 8-year-old Amber Jackson, and Wentworth’s nephew, Frankie Whaley, 12. Amber was released from a hospital Monday. Frankie remained hospitalized in special care, said Sgt. Will Rogers.TRUE
A construction worker survived an accident which poked an 18-inch-long drill bit through one eye and out the side of his skull.RTA construction worker survived an accident which poked an 18-inch-long drill bit through one eye and out the side of his skull.TRUE
For her hen-night treat, a friend of a friend went with some mates to see one of those raunchy male stripper acts.
The ladies were having a riot ogling the hunky fellas’ bulging pecs. They were getting all over-excited, shrieking as the gyrating Adonises disrobed.
Apparently, the bride-to-be got a little tipsy and forced her way to the front of the stage to get a better view. Dancing in a frenzy, she was almost overcome when, at the climax of his act, one of the writhing hunks whipped off his shiny G-string and flung it on to her face.
A couple of days later she was checking her complexion in the bathroom mirror when she noticed a spot near her eyelid. This blemish was a little worrying; with the wedding at the weekend she wanted to look her best for the photographs.
Over the next few days, she tried every kind of cream, but the spot just got larger and larger until she was driven to visit the doctor.
The quack took one look, and informed the girl that he’d have to operate immediately: she had a pubic louse living in her face.TRUE
Love Bugs are actually man-made. Scientists were genetically engineering females of a species of insect that would mate with the male mosquito, but be sterile and produce no offspring. Unfortunately, they accidentally also created a male Love Bug, and a pair somehow escaped into the wild. Since the bugs had no natural predators, their numbers quickly exploded into the millionsFalse
During the firemen’s strike of 1978, the British Army had taken over emergency fire fighting and on 14 January they were called out by an elderly lady in
South London to retrieve her cat which had become trapped up a tree. They arrived with impressive haste and soon discharged their duty. So grateful was the lady that she invited them all in for tea. Driving off later, with fond farewells completed, they ran over the cat and killed it.TRUE
My urban legend
A three year old boy was travelling to a dress up party and crossed the railway track to get there; at the party another child by the name of Jason Morley gave him a hard time. The small child left the party and began to cry, he sat on the railway tracks in his cat suit and was hit by a city bound train and was left there for three day because the train driver thought he had only hit a cat and not someone’s child
